Bear Wars 3

wars 3 new


No one seems to notice that Rainier has just eaten the last of the sushi rations. But it means that tomorrow, his company will be digging for rusted sardine cans in the bounty-filled landfills of New Jersey.

“Grandma, tell me about the ice sheets again,” he whispers, his voice fading in and out because of the morphine.

“Well, we used to walk on huge sheets of ice, bigger than a football field, and sometimes we would float for hundreds of kilometers just digging fish out of the water with our bare claws.”

“You mean bear claws, don’t you Grandma?” Rainier grins as he catches a whiff of some laughing gas vapors wafting over from the next cot.

Her grandson’s double entendre seemingly lost on her, Grandma suddenly rises from her seat at the hospital, and walks over to the plexiglass window. An SUV is moving in the football-field-sized parking lot. The enemy is still out there.

So she walks out of the hospital carrying just an Awake magazine and a box of inexpensive visiting chocolates, and marches right up to the vehicle – a slightly damaged Kia Sorento.

“Excuse me, do you know if you’re allowed to park here after 6 on weekends?” the commuter asks, not noticing that he’s talking to a large polar bear carrying religious literature and low-quality sweets in a colorful box.

“Excuse me, do you know if we’re allowed to survive after the Twentieth Century’s industrial disasters?” Grandma cleverly responds as she quickly shreds his internal organs and thinks about how sweet avocado and wassabe will taste with them.


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3 Responses to “Bear Wars 3”

  1. dgun Says:

    Polar Bear fiction should go viral. It would get the word out without the need of involving mainstream marketing folks, avoiding a potential moral crisis.

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