Posts Tagged ‘dessert drag’

The F and B Curves

March 4, 2009

Curves B


Free Market Jesus has a bit of a dilemma: soon there will be 5,000 gay men looking for sushi and croissants, but the caterers have only delivered five emaciated  salmon and a kilo of French pastry flour. What is a girl to do?

He turns to Free Market Mark for advice and consolation.

“Marky, what the hell are we supposed to do now? The drag queens are here, the lights and dessert-themed stage have been paid for, we’re 75,000 Shekels in the hole, and I’ve got no finger food for these top-dollar gay tourists!! I could pull my muff-hair out right about now, Marcia my sweet.”

Free Market Jesus and Free Market Mark like to call each other by girl names, and they also refer to each other as “she” and “her” when in the company of other disciples.

Mark pats Jesus softly on his freshly talcum-powdered back: “Oh Mary, I just know there’s a free market solution here somewhere.”

FMJ likes it when Mark calls him Mary. In fact, he likes it when everyone calls him Mary – it makes him sound creative and benevolent, and his PR people are always telling him that this type of association works.

As the lineup in front of the club grows bitchier and bitchier, Jesus opens up the Business section of the Nazareth Times and skims the Page 3 stock market results for inspiration.

“Marcia! I’ve got it. Supply and Demand! We’ll let Supply and Demand fill the paper party plates of all those leather and euro-bronzed queens. Supply and Demand!”

And Jesus does five holy-rave pills and stays up all night dancing to house music as he sways and flexes to the beat of Supply and Demand, and all the gay dancers go home and tell them what an amazing time they had at the circuit party.

Jesus wakes up briefly from his drug-induced coma: “That Elisha bitch is gonna be so jealous.” He smiles and falls back into his yellow boa-draped futon.

Click for more FMJ

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